Saturday, September 08, 2007

...And We have a Bad Rap?

Here is an email I received from one of my associates in exile...

"so lets see, my weekend started with me lighting my house on fire...and that wasthe high.

a bunch of you have been missing my stories... so i'll send this...

So Friday I decided to make lunch for all the staff... Tom and I did... somegreat indian food.. like REALLY GOOD... but as we were making all this food westarted on the vodka. then we brought up the food AND drinks to the staff andpretty much were all hammered at work at 2pm. YES i am the BEST boss EVER!

SO friday night was going to be the despedida for 3 staff members you returnedhome to the US/Canada on Saturday. SO we started drinking at my house... afterwork... about 5:30. Vodka, Vodka, Vodka, Beer, Wine, Weed, Vodka, Weed,Vodka... RUM

so We are now into the Bacardi 151.... which is pure gasoline... tom is hammeredand drops the frikkn bottle which is about 3/4 full...maybe a bit more. and itshatters on my kitchen floor. My first thought... oohhh... lets through a matchon that. SO I DID... dude... AWESOME.. i mean AWESOME... it was BEAUTIFUL howthe alcohol just caught on fire in one sweeping motion.. like the movies... andas it headed towards tom (who of course burned himself in it... jajajajaj) andmy fridge... everyone was in awe... with this drunk-high glazed look on theirfaces... (am i painting a pretty good picture....Beauty...serenity... light glowof the flame)

cuz i did say FRIDGE... yeah.. so its going under my fridge... MAYBE not thebest idea in the world... so I grab my fire extinguisher... but i'm high anddrunk and dont know how to use it... so i pass it to Hugh... who is in the samestate as me... so he passes it to Dan.... One of the girls throw their drink onit... which added to the flame... Hugh grabbed the mop and tried to stomp itout... but the mop just caught on fire... WHICH WAS AWESOME TOO!! i mean.. fireis cool. Finally with one pull of the tab Dan sprays MY ENTIRE KITCHEN withthe extinguisher.. and now there's no fire...but no one can breathe!!! Whichbasically means "Time to Leave"

so we head to El Pueblo... drunk, hungry, drinking more, eating, drinking,drinking, drinking. Diego came out with us which is only the 2nd time he's donethat in the 3 years that i've been here... and he probably wont do it again...poor diego... so innocent... so.. corruptable... so not a person that should bearound drunk richard.

Then all of the sudden TOM IS ON STAGE AT TARRICOS AND THEY GAVE HIM AMICROPHONE... and not just ANY microphone... one of those headset ones so thathe could dance like N*Sync (it took me 3 times to spell that name... but itsshorter than that other one so i typed this one.. who knew) so Tom is dancingand everyone is in awe... and stops dancing... so tom starts talking... BIGMISTAKE ... broken drunken spanish. but whatevs he got to dance withMan-hands... which is awesome cuz the pants she was wearing were her specialcamel-toe pants. AND THEN TOM DOES A BACK ROLL AND STICKS THE LANDING... it waslike a reverse Ninja Roll... AWESOME. though really i'm super surprised that hedidnt fall off the stage.

I was drunk and i left to meet up with others at Retro... butappearantly Tom was up on stage about 6 different times... AWESOME>.. and theyfinally got home at like 4am. At 4am i was already having sex! yey me!

Saturday we got up at 3 in the afternoon and headed to a friend's brother's 30thbday bbq. I was driving so i didnt really drink but holy shit did i laugh...AND for those of you in Central America...i found out that IF Sodea Stereo goesto Panama they will come to COsta Rica also... and Depeche Mode is coming withanother band and then INCUBUS is coming... and someone else.. ALL BEFORE ILEAVE! how awesome is that. music at this party too.... i mean...over the course of the 8 hours we were there we heard Slap My Bitch Up only 4times... jajaj.. i dont care i LOVE that song. but yeah... the music wasawesome and the company was great too. I was sooooooooo tired though.. so weheaded back to my place.

Then i get a call at 7:30am because Tom had a kidney stone and had to be takento the hospital.. but since i was "entertaining" i got Danny to drive him andCourtnry to the hospital...and then we picked them up and all went for lunch.Now because i'm extra slutty these days... i dropped numbre 1 off at his houseand then headed to my "medio-novio's" house... and yes i'm still in the sameclothes as yesterday... and yes i did the walk of shame again...and yes tomcaught me again.


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